Learning to wait

I know I haven't blogged in a couple of months. It's not like I don't have anything to talk about....it's the opposite. I don't know where to start!

By now you probably know that our hearts have already left midwest suburbia and are ready for the adventure that lies ahead in Honduras. I'm so excited and so terrified of 2010. Right now, I feel our family in limbo...just waiting for things to happen. For an over-planner, this is a painful exercise in patience and faith...also for the over-planner's family! It's the waiting and wondering that gets me so keyed up and stressed. Lately, I've had less and less patient with everyone and everything, but this morning I took a deep breath and attempted to regain some calm and peace. It's not an easy thing to do when you're over-planning brain is spinning out of control. That's the real problem with our current situation...no control. I feel a little like a hamster trying to drive the Barbie Corvette down the stairs...I don't have the remote control, it's a bumpy ride and I'm a little nauseous. Chaotic waiting around...that's exactly what it is.

Well, it may feel chaotic, but we are progressing little by little. We've listed the house for rent and thank goodness the rental manager thinks we can get enough to make the mortgage payment every month while we're gone. That's assuming, of course, that we can get a renter to stay for an entire year or more...but I'm trying really heard not to think about that. Anyway, we have several potential renters coming to see the house on Saturday, so we'll be spending our holiday weekend scrubbing and packing things away to make the house look as nice as possible. Then, we'll just be waiting to see the results.

Meanwhile, we're getting very close to meeting our financial support goal. But we still don't have any savings to live on when we get back...see, I'm already planning for coming back and we haven't left yet! PK is also concerned about this, but we're not really sure what to do about it...except wait, of course. We've received all of Nick's homeschool materials that we'll need to take with us and I've started the process of getting all our paperwork in order to apply for residency, but since we're all born in different states, I'm waiting for the birth certificates to be certified by three different state agencies. I can't deal with the health or car insurance until we have a departure date...so I'm waiting.

How can a person be so exhausted just from waiting? I'm tired and cranky and ready for it all to be over with. It feels like the final push after 10 months of labor. It' kinda hard to enjoy, but you know the result will be worth the struggle. But, for now, I'll just have to learn to wait.