to Favorite Quotes and Other Rants of an Overextended Wife, Mother and Crazy Crafter

A guide to overcoming the demands of the "real world" with creative pursuits

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Wandering the Wilderness

I can get wound up pretty tight when I feel stressed. Most people who know me would say that that's an understatement. That's how I had been feeling lately. Over the past few weeks the tension has continued to mount and the to-do list continued to grow. I started to feel out of control and I was miserable. I finally found relief this weekend at the Moms & Sons retreat.

I had been in CA all week for work and flew back in on Friday. I had intended to take the earliest flight out and arrive home early enough in the afternoon to finish packing and wait for CT to arrive home from school before driving the 5 hours to camp. But my flight was delayed and I spent an extra hour at the Orange County airport and another 45 minutes circling the MSP airport waiting for permission to land. My taxi hit rush hour traffic and construction zones. So I was frantic when I finally arrived home at 5:00. I dumped my suitcase on the floor and replaced the contents with whatever I could grab. We didn't hit the road until 5:45. In addition to my hectic day, my mind was racing with tasks that need to be accomplished prior to our departure to Honduras...not the least of which is to come up with another $4000 of support! So you can imagine my state of mind when we arrived at camp...harried, short-tempered and exhausted from travel and worry. That's not to mention that it was my birthday and I was feeling considerably older and more decrepit by the minute. What I didn't think I needed was a weekend "wasted" playing games and roasting marshmallows in the cold, wet outdoors. But I guess we're not always the best judge of what our soul's need in order to sustain us.

I think speaker's topics were intended for me. We talked about wondering the desert for 40 years and trusting God to provide. Wow. Maybe I'm lost in my own wilderness and I just need to give up the control to get to the promised land. Maybe I need to focus more on collecting the manna and less on trying to make the full turkey, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie all by myself. After I made this connection, I was able to relax and enjoy the time spent with my favorite person, CT. I realized how much I'm missing by being so frazzled all the time. We finally had the opportunity to talk about how we're feeling about the move and the mission. And, probably more importantly, we found the time to be silly and goof off together. I came back more refreshed, renewed and happy. I also came home with some "cool" new dance moves (I've been driving the bus all week!).

When we got back, we all sat down with a big piece of birthday cake and made three lists. (1) Things we have to offer Escuela El Sembrador (2) Things Escuela El Sembrador has to offer us and (3) Things we're afraid of or worried about. You can imagine that my 3rd list was the longest by far. But we took a hard look at the list and discussed how there's nothing on that list that God can't take care of. So, I'm working on letting go of list #3...still working on it...

Anyway, I'm a happier more relaxed mom this week and I'm going to try to stay that way for a while. So, when I start to feel out of control again, I'm going to break out my sprinkler and robot dance moves (much to CT's embarrassment, I'm sure) and remember that we will eventually find our way out of the wilderness...even if it takes 40 years.

posted by KellyFaith at 8:29 AM | 0 comments

Friday, September 18, 2009

Patience is a virtue

I'm an over-planner in recovery. My natural tendency to plan things down to the millisecond. I'll admit I have actually refused to make a rest stop on the side of the road because the rigorous family vacation schedule did not allow time (I guess I forget that others are not as fortunate to have a very trained and obedient bladder as myself). So far, I haven't been able to locate a support group for those afflicted with this disorder, but I am learning my...slowly.

Recently, I had a lesson in the value of patience and allowing time for God's plan, not my own. Our original plan was to leave for our mission Honduras in August. Of course, I was really disappointed when the combination of my surgery and lack of financial support made that impossible. I guess "disappointed" is a little bit of an understatement. Once I make up my mind to do something, I hate waiting...for anything. It sort of feels like putting life on hold and the hold music is an awful remake of an '80s rock ballad (since when is Bon Jovi classic rock, anyway?). For Labor Day we went to visit PK's parents up north - about a 6-hr. drive. We left after work for the familiar road trip and we laughed and talked and sang with the radio (yes, I do recall some Bon Jovi). We arrived shortly after midnight. PK's parents were waiting up for us, along with his brother and nephew. After saying our hellos, my well-trained bladder and I headed for the restroom. As I stood to pull up my pants, I looked down to see blood gushing from the scar on my stomach...a lot of blood. It wasn't painful, but very messy and soaking through the rug and every piece of clothing. I screamed for PK. The look of horror on his face confirmed that something was seriously wrong. PK's parents live about 20 minutes out of town, so I wrapped a towel around myself and scurried past the gawking family to the car. I don't think I've ever seen PK drive so fast. He even swerved around the "Road Closed" signs in order to take the quickest route to the hospital. We didn't talk much on the drive. We were both too scared, I think. What would you say anyway? It's important to note that my surgery was more than six months ago and I had fully recovered. So, this was quite unexpected and terrifying. As it turned out, I had managed to tear a suture and there was a small hole in the incision. It was a minor complication that didn't even require a stitch. I just had to keep it covered for a few days while it healed. Nevertheless, as we waited in the ER, it occurred to us both that we could have been in Honduras. In fact, in our minds, we should have been in Honduras. How much scarier would this episode have been in a foreign country miles from the nearest hospital, in the middle of the night, where no one would speak English? Sure, the wound would still have been minor, but the fear would have been devastating.

Since then, I've been thinking about our mission and my growing frustration at the delays. I'm reminded that we've been called to do God's work and we are blessed to be on His schedule. I am humbled and grateful for this valuable lesson in patience.

posted by KellyFaith at 2:23 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Home Sweet Home

The past two weeks have been exhausting for us. Last weekend we drove to Branson and back and this weekend we drove to Fort Smith and back. That's a lot of miles...and two flat tires! We had two reasons for our southern odyssey. First, we wanted to visit Mom, my grandma (PL for pink lady) and PM (for Pig's mom). Second, we had the opportunity to speak at PL's church and my home church about our mission work in Honduras. The bonus was that we left CT down in Branson for the week in between the visits. He had a great vacation (and so did we). The talks went really well and got a great response. We're still a really long way from reaching our goal, but the love and support has been amazing. I hope we can keep up this momentum.

We got home late last night and CT got his first look at his school supplies that I purchased while he was gone. Today he spent the day packing them away, but there was a small catch. He couldn't put an item away until he looked up and wrote down the Spanish work for the item. We thought it would be a good way to add to his vocabulary. He did a pretty good job and didn't whine too much, which is quite a victory these days.

We also arrived home to a letter from Luis at Escuela El Sembrador. We were so happy to hear from him. He told us that he had to leave the school and return home for a week following the coupe in Honduras. Luckily his family lives in the town near the school (Catacamas) so he didn't have to travel very far. He is so sweet. He reminded us to pray for the country and told us that he loved his American padrinos (parents). I can hardly wait to see him again. His letter really lifted our spirits and reminded us that our exhaustion is worthwhile.

Well, we're home now and hopefully things will get back to normal...which is pretty draining on a regular basis, so there'll be no rest.

posted by KellyFaith at 4:58 PM | 2 comments