Slow, Slow, Quick, Quick

Last night PK and I had our first ballroom dance lessons. Don't ask how I managed to convince him that we should do this. Let's just say promises were made, bargains were struck and I'll probably never stop hearing about it. All in all, it was a lot easier than I had expected.

Anyway, we're taking these lessons to get ready for the uber-fancy wedding in November. So, for the next 8 weeks on Mondays the schedule will be as follows: after work, I pick up Nick at daycare and drive directly to the bus stop to pick PK up. From the bus stop, we brave rush hour traffic to drive to his brother's work. We leave CT with BPKA (Broke PK's Arm, for blog's sake) and then make our way to some fast-food establishment for a quick bite. Finally, we arrive at the ballroom for the dance hour-long dance lesson taught by a sweet elderly Swedish couple. After the class we make our way back to BPKA's home to pick up CT, who has hopefully completed all his homework. Then we make a quick stop at the bus stop to pick up PK's car (assuming we don't forget this step like we almost did last night). At last we make it home a little after 9:00 p.m. It's a long day, but a night just the two of us is worth all the hassle, right? That and gliding gracefully across the dance floor like Fred and Ginger. Which brings us to last night's class...

We arrived a little earlier than expected having misjudged the traffic delay. PK refrained from ordering a drink at the bar to relax before the class, but I'll encourage him to order something stiff next week. He really needs it. Anyway, one by one the couples arrive. We begin to notice a trend in our fellow classmates. It seems we are the only couple under the age of 80. What does this mean for the ballroom tradition? Is it lost forever? Doomed to be forgotten by the younger generations like the record player or VHS? Fear not, my friends, two younger couples finally showed up just 20 minutes late...Isn't that just like those whippersnappers to be late to the first class? For our first lesson, we practiced the fox trot. A practice is exactly what we need. We started by learning to walk....yes, the very basics folks. We walked and I began to feel confident in our abilities. I was already visualizing the two of us accepting gracious praise from all the wedding guests, when we were instructed to add the little quick, quick step. We were a disaster right away. PK marched like the Marine he is and my short stride left me far behind the rest of the group. And it only got worse from there. OK, I'm exaggerating. I think we did master the steps ok...we just can't do them together. In all we learned 3 basic moves all using the same slow, slow, quick, quick step:
1) turning to the left,
2) backwards and forwards and
3) the "conversation", which is a sort of sideways step to the right thingie.
We cannot, however, put any of these moves together. So where does that leave us? Well, we can either always dance in a circle (always turning to the left, of course)...or we can move forwards and backwards in a straight line, which is great if no one else is allowed on the dance floor...or we can move continually to the right until we run into the buffet table. I have not lost hope though. Our generous instructors have sensed our plight and invited us back for Thursday night sessions at no charge (I told you we were bad. They took pity on us!). We may have to take them up on that offer. In the meantime, I've narrowed down our dancing deficiencies to the following:
1) PK is extremely stiff and clenches my hand so tight that I can no longer feel my fingers. Do all men clench when their concentrating?
2) I cannot let PK lead...I recognize this as the much deeper flaw of always needing to be in charge
3) PK cannot lead...that's not just my bossy side talking either. He really cannot make decisions and commit to them quick enough to allow me to follow....thus the problem of me taking over and leading us back to #2.
4) PK cannot hear the beat of music...perhaps this can be improved over time by repeatedly playing polkas over and over while he sleeps, but I doubt it. I'll let you know how that plan plays out though.
5) PK has the annoying habit of saying the steps out loud under his breath like so: "Forward. Backward. Left and Turn". For reference, these steps are exactly opposite for the female, so you can see the problem that this causes.
6) Every time we look at eachother I have an uncontrollable urge to burst into a fit of laughter. I can't help it. He's trying so hard and it's so cute.

Needless to say, none of our other classmates seem to have these same trials. Those geezers can dance! I am not embarrassed though. We are there to learn and we are there together. I am so happy that after 10 years of marriage, PK and I are still willing to spend an hour making complete fools of ourselves together. Who knows, maybe we'll practice really hard this week and blow those old timers away next week?

In the meantime, PK has admitted that it wasn't as bad as he expected and I had a blast. I'm already looking forward to next week's class. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

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