So how do you survive traffic court? Here's my suggestions based on my vast experience:
- Bring knitting (or other project). My fellow lawbreakers took bets on whether or not I would finish the entire scarf before we got out of there.
- Think happy thoughts when the baby some ill-advised mother brought to court cries so loud that you can't here the clerk calling out names you desperately want to be yours.
- Try not to laugh out loud when the bailiff passes you escorting the guy charged with minor possession while she admonishes him for getting high in the parking lot outside the courthouse while waiting for his turn to see the judge.
- Talk to that girl with the nose ring and a tattoo on her exposed tummy. She's really just a single-mom anxious to pick up her kids at the bus stop.
- Ease-drop on the conversation of the two teenagers accused of underage drinking while they discuss the responses of their parents to their numerous indiscretions. This may be useful information if you are ever a parent of a delinquent.
- Try not to lose your temper when you realize that half of those waiting don't speak English and need the services of the interpreter and therefore, are allowed to see the judge first because the interpreter has another appointment. Just vow to learn Spanish at your earliest convenience.
- Most importantly, never trust the low-level government buffoon behind the counter without a second opinion from another low-level government buffoon.
traffic, ticket, court, misdemeanor, survive