Thursday, February 15, 2007

OK, Maybe I am a Descendent of Monkeys

Last night I was telling PK about my newly-discovered banana allergy and how I single-handedly debunked evolution as the origin of mankind (see Proof That I Am Not Descendant of Monkeys for this enlightening concept). However, I am a woman who can admit when she may be wrong. As I was explaining my scientific theory, a picture flashed in my mind...a snapshot from long ago...a buried memory from my childhood. It was probably traumatic, so it's been hidden away in my subconscious for decades.

It happened on a family vacation, when most disturbing childhood memories are made. The four of us (Me, Mom, Daddy and LB) went to Houston for a week one summer. While there, we visited the popular Houston Zoo. LB and I had been to the Tulsa Zoo a couple of times by that age. No disrespect to that fine tourist attraction, but I'm now fairly certain that was a common squirrel with an extra tail, not an Two-Tailed Arabian Flying Monkey. Anyway, the Houston Zoo was amazing. It had animals from all over the world that no one had ever heard of before. I tell you, they had animals with animals with names that cannot be pronounced by the human tongue! It was on our tour of the primate house when it happened. Horror of all horrors to every preteen who has braved an embarrassing public humiliation brought on by her own parents..... My daddy came face-to-face with what can only be described as his twin brother! A daddy looks like a little monkey at the zoo, people! And there we stood....all 4 of complete awe in front of a glass enclosure staring open-mouthed at Uncle Monkey from Houston.

We have rarely spoken of this...only in whispers to occasionally help explain some odd family trait. But I tell y'all this now, so that I can finally let go of this painful memory and begin to get to acquainted with my chimp side. While I find it doubtful that humanity evolved from apes...I, in fact, may be descended from monkeys afterall. I embrace my new heritage. Afterall, everyone loves a monkey....I am especially fond of dancing monkeys at the circus (you know the ones with the little hats and a little coat to match the ringmaster's).

Not KellyFaith's real Daddy....just a clever look-alike.

OK, this isn't really the monkey we saw that fateful day. I couldn't find a picture of that one. This photo does bear a small family resemblance though....perhaps a distant cousin.

Just to set the record straight, this is a true story. However, my Daddy is not a real monkey...he just has certain characteristics similar to the little monkey we saw at the Houston zoo. I feel confident in sharing this story, because everyone who knows me and my Daddy knows that I look exactly like him. Seriously, put a goatee and some sideburns on me and I am a dead ringer. Therefore, it could just of easily been me who met my carbon copy monkey brother. Thankfully, it wasn't, but it could've been. We've shared many laughs about the day we met his doppelganger and I'm sure Daddy will take this in the humorous spirit in which it was written. So I speak for my entire monkey family when I say oo-oo-ee-ee-ii-oo-oo-ee (loosely translated: Don't eat the green bananas and may no falling coconut fall upon your head).

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