Friday, June 27, 2008

Stupid Tuesday

Some of you may not have heard about my theory on Tuesdays, so let me explain. Most people come into the office on Monday needing at least six cups of coffee to make it through the 9:00 meeting. They’re sleepy, whiney, cranky and sometimes even a little hung over. Everyone spends the day on complaining, talking about their weekend and catching up on where they left off on Friday. There’s not time for actual work and therefore no time for debacles, interruptions and idiocy. Tuesday is when everyone finally gets down to the real week’s work…causing more work for everyone else, annoying co-workers, realizing mistakes from the previous week and scheduling pointless meetings. Yes, the real downer is Tuesday, my friends. Tuesday is when the lack of sleep catches up to you. Tuesday is when you realize just how long a week is and much of it you still have to get through. Tuesday is when you realize that maybe you could’ve put up with one more afternoon at Home Depot with a crying baby and a husband who acts like choosing the right faucet tantamount to selecting an ivy league college for your first-born…if only that meant you could have one less day exposed to that seizure-causing, blinking fluorescent light in your small gray cubicle next to the guy who turns his telephone up too loud. Stupid Tuesday. I hate Tuesday. Stupid, stupid Tuesday.

Think I’m exaggerating? Let me give you an example. Below is a summary of this past Tuesday in my life.

4:00 a.m. – CT wakes up with stomach ache. While trying to comfort him, I realized that I have no medicine to help this particular ailment (athlete’s foot and ear infections I’ve got covered). I give him a drink of water and send him back to bed.

5:15 a.m. – I finally drift back to sleep. I dream that I am at a casino and that I’ve won $45,000 on the nickel machines.

6:15 a.m. – The alarm goes off just as I’m holding the giant check.

6:16 a.m. – I remember that I have a 7:00 dentist appointment.

7:10 a.m. – I arrive for the 7:00 dentist appointment….the dentist has not.

7:20 a.m. – The receptionist arrives for my 7:00 dentist appointment and lets me in the building.

7:22 a.m. – The dentist finally arrives and I’m seen right away.

7:27 a.m. – I have the first of nine novacaine shots. That’s right, nine.

8:10 a.m. – Dentist finishes fillings.

8:11 a.m. – I ask to use the restroom as I realize I’ve started my period (luckily only a few moments previously, so I’m not embarrassed)

8:20 a.m. – I pay the $265 bill at the dentist.

8:22 a.m. – I realize I’ve lost my necklace.

8:30 a.m. – I find my necklace in the dental chair. The chain is broken.

8:55 a.m. – I finally arrive at work…just in time for my 9:00 meeting that I haven’t prepared for.

9:02 a.m. – I realize that my mouth is still numb and that drinking water during the meeting was not a good idea. I need a napkin, but settle for my sleeve.

9:30 a.m. – I realize there’s been no time for breakfast and I can’t eat solid foods for 24 hours.

9:32 a.m. – My stomach growls loudly. I am now drooling and making weird noises in my meeting that I am not prepared for.

11:30 a.m. – I still cannot eat solid foods. I settle on a grilled cheese from the cafeteria. This is the high point of my day so far.

1:00 p.m. – I receive an e-mail from an IT consultant explaining that the reason the website I’ve spent months developing doesn’t work for anyone but me is because the company does not have the appropriate software licenses. Requests for the licenses have been denied. I will have to re-develop site using another software.

1:30 p.m. – I receive an e-mail from a co-worker explaining that the business reply mail that I am preparing to send to customers does not have the correct permit number on it, despite being assured by my boss that she worked on it while I was on vacation and got the numbers directly from corporate.

2:45 p.m. – I’ve just spent an hour working on a complex schedule for a project already in progress.

2:46 p.m. – My computer crashes.

2: 50 p.m. – I realize that I did not save my complex schedule for the project in progress.

2:51 p.m. – I am cursing myself when my boss calls me into her office.

2:52 p.m. – Boss explains that the project for which I’ve just lost the schedule is being “re-considered” and is probably cancelled.

2:53 p.m. – We decide we should probably not tell the team who has been working on the project for two months. Maybe the project will back on?

4:30 p.m. – I finally leave for the day.

Stupid Tuesday!

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1 comment:

bernard n. shull said...
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