Saturday, November 06, 2010

Empty Nest

It's taken me about a week to sort through my feelings enough to write about graduation last Sunday. I feel like a mother whose children have all grown up and moved empty nest, so to speak. Only my kids will never call and there'll be no holiday visits. While I am very proud of every one of them, I'm also very scared for them. I don't know where they're going or who will be there to greet them. While they were here I felt like we could protect them from the hopelessness of poverty, the heartache of a broken family or the pain of illness. I know it was naive but I just knew that they were happier, healthier and safer here with us than out in the scary world they came from. So, I just couldn't understand why they were so excited and jubilant for this day to come. Sure, I know kids always look forward to the last day of school, but don't they know they may never see eachother...or me...again? Aren't they devastated or paralyzed with fear like me? I just couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that they would want to leave this beautiful, peaceful place....or me. But they did. One by one I have watched them drive away with family, friends and caretakers. And each time it's like they take another little piece of me with them.

And so here I empty nest mom. I know that they do not go alone and the Lord is protecting them and I know that God could reunite us one day, but it's hard to see that through the blur of my tears. Even as I look at my own son, I cannot help but think that he is already looking forward to the day where he too will venture out into the scary world without me. I have poured my whole self into this ministry for over two years and now it's over and I feel empty. Several people have tried to console me by telling me that we have made a difference in these young lives. While that may be true, I can't see past the gift they have been in my life. Their ministry to me has changed me forever and I am so grateful for this little bit of time God has allowed me to spend with them. I loved them before I ever met them and I go on loving them even when my nest is unbearably empty.

So, here they kids on graduation day.

Me and Frankie

CT, Arle and Luis Miguel

Justo and Gelbert


Santiago, Gervin, Darwin and Dayer

Eldar, Jose Elias, Jorge, Santiago and Rusbel

Joe Daniel, Cristian Ariel, me and Luis Gerardo

William and PK

Milton and Bismar

Me and Jorge

Me and Fernando

Jose Daniel and CT

Frankie, PK and Victor

Edwin, Joel, Eldar and Gervin


Elvis Renan


Jose Elias










Graduates of primary and vocational



Elvis Renan


Henry and AT

Elvis Renan and Me

Elvis Renan


Michelle said...

I'm very proud of you and all you have been a part of. As I was reading your post, I thought of a song we sing in church. One part of it seems to fit your situation. "I know I'm filled to be emptied again. The seed I've received I will sow." My heart goes out to you.

mom said...

I am so proud of you!