I think that when you decide to give up everything and move to a foreign country to serve God, you never really intend to "give up" everything and it sneaks up on you sometimes. Suddenly, you find yourself feeling like a martyr and whining to everyone about your "loss". I think that's the trap I find myself in at the moment. The reality is that we have a storage unit full of stuff and we still "own" a home even if we're not living in it. I mean we haven't exactly suffered for our ministry...not by a long-shot. I told God I would do anything, go anywhere and give up anything and He has asked so little of me.
I'm feeling a little guilty for even exposing my greediness for the entire world to see! So, I am telling myself to give up the martyrdom and be truly thankful for my new home and everything else.
"Self, there is no shame in renting an apartment, you silly little brat. In fact, you could really use that on-site fitness center once in a while, missy! Time to start walking the walk and give up something for God's ministry...maybe starting with a little of that pride. And if every you forget how blessed you are, remember that you could be living in your in-laws' basement!"