Empty Nest

It's taken me about a week to sort through my feelings enough to write about graduation last Sunday. I feel like a mother whose children have all grown up and moved away...an empty nest, so to speak. Only my kids will never call and there'll be no holiday visits. While I am very proud of every one of them, I'm also very scared for them. I don't know where they're going or who will be there to greet them. While they were here I felt like we could protect them from the hopelessness of poverty, the heartache of a broken family or the pain of illness. I know it was naive but I just knew that they were happier, healthier and safer here with us than out in the scary world they came from. So, I just couldn't understand why they were so excited and jubilant for this day to come. Sure, I know kids always look forward to the last day of school, but don't they know they may never see eachother...or me...again? Aren't they devastated or paralyzed with fear like me? I just couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that they would want to leave this beautiful, peaceful place....or me. But they did. One by one I have watched them drive away with family, friends and caretakers. And each time it's like they take another little piece of me with them.

And so here I am...an empty nest mom. I know that they do not go alone and the Lord is protecting them and I know that God could reunite us one day, but it's hard to see that through the blur of my tears. Even as I look at my own son, I cannot help but think that he is already looking forward to the day where he too will venture out into the scary world without me. I have poured my whole self into this ministry for over two years and now it's over and I feel empty. Several people have tried to console me by telling me that we have made a difference in these young lives. While that may be true, I can't see past the gift they have been in my life. Their ministry to me has changed me forever and I am so grateful for this little bit of time God has allowed me to spend with them. I loved them before I ever met them and I go on loving them even when my nest is unbearably empty.

So, here they are...my kids on graduation day.

Me and Frankie

CT, Arle and Luis Miguel

Justo and Gelbert

Rusbel

Santiago, Gervin, Darwin and Dayer

Eldar, Jose Elias, Jorge, Santiago and Rusbel

Joe Daniel, Cristian Ariel, me and Luis Gerardo

William and PK

Milton and Bismar

Me and Jorge

Me and Fernando

Jose Daniel and CT

Frankie, PK and Victor

Edwin, Joel, Eldar and Gervin

Henry

Elvis Renan

Dayer

Jose Elias

Frankie

Gelbert

Rusbel

Marvin

Elias

Bismar

Rommel

Darwin

Fernando

Graduates of primary and vocational

Rommel

Bismar

Elvis Renan

Darwin

Henry and AT

Elvis Renan and Me

Elvis Renan

KellyFaith Meets the President

The president of Honduras made a visit to El Sembrador last week along with a large entourage of security. Apparently, security is a little more relaxed in Honduras than in the U.S. and I was able to snap some photos. If this president ever commits some atrocious crime against humanity, I am probably going to regret posting these. But since I know nothing about Honduran politics and I'm just in it for the celebrity factor, here they are.

PK and CT with Pepe Lobo, the president of Honduras

The whole family meets the president.

Our students and staff get a chance to pose with the president.

The El Sembrador guys and the president of Honduras

A "Special" Goodbye

One thing I've learned about Hondurans is that they love to make things special and when things are special they like to really drag them out until they no longer seem so special. The same is true with goodbyes. Last night we had a "special" dinner for the students and staff as a chance to thank them for the year and another opportunity for me to blubber uncontrollably and blow my nose repeatedly. The boys enjoyed the meal and the special awards that were given by the teaching staff. They even had a parting gift for us...a carving of the church on a serving tray for PK and I and a little carved box for CT. The most awkward moments came when everyone was asked to say something "special" to our family and AT. The cricket noises were deafening. I hope that's because everyone was too nervous to speak in front of the large group and not because they couldn't think of anything nice to say about us. Finally, the pastor from El Carbon took mercy on us and stood the thank PK for his work with the electricity in his church.

After the dinner, we took the opportunity to take photos of and with the boys. My how they love the cameras! We spent hours with them until my battery was dead and I was exhausted. Of course, I had to be wearing the ugliest outfit in my closet last night! We all wore black pants and a white shirt to serve the dinner.

I hate goodbyes and there are many more "special" days of goodbye ahead of me.

A Testimony of Love

Tonight we had a church service in which each of the students and staff was encouraged to stand and give a testimony and thank God for this year at El Sembrador. I was a wreck by the time it was over, but thankfully I wasn't the only one. Justo and Darwin couldn't even get through their time because their tears flowed so heavily. It made my heart leap when so many of them thanked us by name. But I was most proud that EVERY one of them thanked the Lord. Some people got bored because the service went so long, but I could've listened to them all night. I am so grateful for the time I've been given with them and so distraught at the thought of not seeing them again. They have changed my life forever and I will never forget these moments that we've shared.

This year, I have told each student that they are my favorite. And every time I meant it. I know it's strange, but I love them each the best. They are all so different and so much a part of this very special place in my heart. So, when it was my turn, I reminded them how much I love them and that their Heavenly Father loves them so much more. I hope that they felt that love this year. I hope they know that it breaks my heart to leave them, but that God never will. If I  was able to teach them that, then this whole year will have been worthwhile. I ended by reminding them that they are my favorites...in perfect Spanish.

God is at Work

In case I needed reminded (which I didn't, but I always enjoy it anyway), God is at work at El Sembrador. Today we celebrated the sacrament of baptism. Unfortunately, I couldn't be here because I was in Tegucigalpa with the other missionary ladies for a retreat. But PK did an excellent job of capturing these precious moments on film for me. They had to shoo the cows out of the river before beginning the ceremony, but other than that, it was a beautiful occasion.